she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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