....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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