Me. At least after what I've been through.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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