At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i drank out of a bidet.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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