I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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