I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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