well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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