I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Holy shit dude........stairs
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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