I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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