Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
