remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
