Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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