One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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