Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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