She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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