The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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