New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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