I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
