the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
