her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
