So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
