Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
