Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
did i walk over a car last night?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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