Pappa wants mamma naked
its not stalking. its research.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
