Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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