i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
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There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
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The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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