how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
