I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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