i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So much rum. So many feels.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
