so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
