Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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