Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You're like the curious george of whores
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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