Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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