Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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