I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
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I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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