Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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