I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
