What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
