You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
