no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We had to coat check the pizza.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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