Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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