I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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