Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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