I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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