his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize
