Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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