just tell him i said nine months
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
