his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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