Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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