I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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