there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
