Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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