the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
