i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
