Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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