Already got asked if we're dating
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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