He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
