So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
