You just made me feel so damn special
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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