Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize