I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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