Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
