have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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